when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
