I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
