I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
