I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
