I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
