Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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