I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
