road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
