is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think people are normalizing furries
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
