I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
