If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
