This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
