Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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