you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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