I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
