I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
