Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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