I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
