dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
