the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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