Only a mothe r could love this liver
its not stalking. its research.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
