i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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