I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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