I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
