he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
