it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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