i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
