Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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