ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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