I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
