just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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