Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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