I got chris browned last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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