better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
