My first STD was from a foam party
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
