SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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