YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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