On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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