break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
