Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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