oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I want is dick and wine.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
