I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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