i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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