I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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