Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
