So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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