Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
