i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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