You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
