I want to walk on stilts...naked
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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