She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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