What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
